the best & the worst

I recently fell in love with someone. It was the most accidental, unpredictable, and inconvenient, which is how I know it’s real. Life always seeming to show up that way. Loving this man has taught me a lot about human souls and the quality of love. Love is both the easiest and hardest thing you will ever do. The most infuriating and the most settling. The most energizing and draining. The best and the worst.

Being in love is beautiful. It’s also ridiculously stupid. I always thought it strange that people seem to know the exact moment they fell in love with someone. Mine is all moments jumbled and clustered together to fill a messy, bold canvas that leaves me feeling giddy and incapable. Until I see him and realize that that feeling doesn’t matter, it is the one true one that doesn’t, and it melts like butter in the sun, telling you to jump.

The thing about love is it’s probably not going to just “work out”, “fall into your lap”, “be simple”, if that’s what you’re expecting. Yet when you’re not, that’s when it becomes all of those things. It grows to be something comfortably unknown and wildly easy. It is every color that exists and even the ones that don’t. It is every feeling stretched and folded into one that decides this person is the realest source of comfort and adventure. And the decision to choose them forever becomes the most effortless and thrilling one you’ve ever made.